Talk to us first
You can call or WhatsApp on your own, before you say anything to the person you're worried about. We'll talk through what's been happening and what might help.
ConfidentialFor families
You don't have towork this out alone.
If you're worried about a partner, a child or a parent, you're not overreacting by asking. Talk to us tonight, confidentially.
Three steps you can take this week
Where to startChoose a calm moment
Pick a time when they're sober and you're not angry. Speak about what you've seen and how you feel, not about labels. “I'm worried about you” opens more doors than “You're an addict”.
What to sayOffer one small step
Not a lecture, and not an ultimatum: one conversation. A free assessment, by phone or video, is a small first step for most people.
The first stepIf they're not ready yet
You can still change what happens next.
Families often reach us before the person they love will. You don't have to wait for them. We'll work with you on your own, so that home becomes a place where change is easier to choose.
- Talking in ways that lower defences
- Making sober time more rewarding than using
- Stepping back from cushioning the consequences
- Choosing the right moment to suggest help
- Keeping yourself safe
This draws on CRAFT (Community Reinforcement and Family Training). In the research, most families who used it helped a loved one who had refused help to start treatment, and family members felt better themselves, whether or not their loved one came. Sources: Miller, Meyers and Tonigan, Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology (1999); Roozen and others, Addiction (2010).
Family support · every Wednesday
Their programme, turned towards you.
While the person you love is in treatment, you work through its mirror image: the same themes and the same CBT method, turned to face the family. What's happening to them, what's happening to you, and how you heal too.
01Understanding
In treatmentThey look honestly at what using has cost them.
For youYou learn what addiction is, why it isn't your fault, and how family life has bent around it.
02Relapse prevention
In treatmentThey map their own high-risk situations.
For youYou map yours: rescuing, covering up, walking on eggshells. And you plan what you'll do if they use again.
03Skills and goals
In treatmentThey practise new ways of coping and set goals.
For youYou practise new ways of responding, and set goals for your own life, not only theirs.
Inside family support
Three focus areas, for the family.
Family sessions, family education and support for you, organised around the same three parts as treatment. You can come to them whether or not your loved one is ready to talk.
Understanding addiction, as a family
Addiction affects everyone in the house. This part helps you make sense of what has been happening, without blame: what substance use disorder is, how families adapt around it, and what helps and what doesn't.
- What addiction is, and isn't
- Why it isn't your fault
- How families adapt around using
- Enabling and rescuing
- Shame, anger and grief
- What recovery looks like at home
Your own relapse prevention
Families have high-risk moments too: the old argument, the urge to check, cover or fix. Using the same CBT tools as treatment, you learn to notice your own patterns early and choose a different response.
- Boundaries you can keep
- Stepping back from rescuing
- Warning signs, theirs and yours
- What to do if they use again
- Talking without blame
- Rebuilding trust, slowly
Your healing, and your goals
Supporting someone through recovery is hard, and your wellbeing matters as much as theirs. We put real weight on you getting well too, across the same four sides we look at in treatment: your body and rest, your mind, your relationships and support, and your own sense of meaning, so your life isn't on hold.
- Looking after your own health
- Your own support network
- Stress and self-care
- Goals for you
- Rebuilding as a family
- Planning for coming home
During treatment
Families are part of recovery.
- Wednesday family sessions, part of family support
- Family education: what addiction is, and what helps
- Support for you, as well as for the person in treatment
- A place in discharge planning, with the person's consent
We'll only share information about someone's treatment with their written consent. If you call about someone, we'll never confirm or deny that they are or were a client.
Questions families ask
The honest answers.
What if they say they don't want help?
That's common, and it isn't the end of the road. Talk to us anyway: we can help you think about how to keep the door open, and how to look after yourself while you do. If they're not ready yet
Can I make an enquiry without them knowing?
Yes. Your enquiry is confidential. Tell us if it isn't safe to leave a message, and we'll be discreet.
How much will it cost?
That depends on the programme and on medical aid cover. We work with most medical aids and check your cover for you. Costs and medical aid
What if someone is in danger right now?
Call 112 from a cellphone, or 10177 for an ambulance. The Suicide Crisis Helpline is free on 0800 567 567.